You Only Lose When You Stop Trying
I woke up in a cold sweat, while heavily breathing. I calmed myself down and promptly fell back to the comfort of my pillow. I screamed into my pillow as loud as I could, and the muffled scream woke up my sister, but I told her to shut up and go back to sleep. I made my way down the stairs and was welcomed to my father who hugged me tightly and wished me luck on the test before leaving for work. On the way to Yarra Valley Grammar, I asked my mum what happened if I didn’t get a scholarship, she said it was fine and told me just to try my test. I met up with a few friends before starting the test and we all wished each other the best of luck. The test commenced and the math test was up first. The first question was a tricky one, so I skipped it, the second question was also quite tricky, so I skipped that too. I got up to the 6th question before being able to answer a question. Before I knew it the math test was finished, I sat there staring into the empty space in front of me. I only completed 10 questions out of the whole math test. This terrible start effected my performance greatly and I did poorly on the other tests.
A few months passed by and the results were released, I remember getting no superiors and was quite unhappy with myself. My mum tried to assure me that it was ok, but I could see the disappoint in her eyes. I was unhappy for only a week as the year 4 me forgot things easily. Also, the fact that my other two friends didn’t make it in made me feel better. Two years later and I had to do another test. I thought I did decently well on this test, but I only achieved one superior. This time my mum didn’t hold back, she was disappointed and angry. I didn’t blame her though, after seven years of paying for my tuition the result was one lousy superior. She compared me to my brother and questioned me on why I couldn’t be like him. I sometimes thought about that as well. After the test I was quite unmotivated and was falling behind in class until I met this boy in my tutoring class.
He saw that I was struggling to complete the homework and explained the questions to me because I was afraid of asking the teacher. This brought up my spirit and I gradually became looking forward to tutoring. I was finally making progress until one fateful morning a terrible incident happened and I was accused of hacking the class zoom meeting and I left my tutoring class. I was devastated and at a loss of words. I felt like I couldn’t achieve anything once I didn’t have my friend. I reached out to him on social media and we were both quite pissed off at the administration of the school and how poorly they handle the situation. Then we both made a promise, we would both try our best to make in into Melbourne High and we would reunite there. A few months passed and I wouldn’t say tried my best to study but I felt like I tried my best to try my best.
When the test rolled around, I started doubting myself and negative thoughts pierced my mind. If I didn’t make it into this school, I felt like my future was doomed and I would never amount to anything. On the way to the test, I burst into tears because I couldn’t handle the pressure. Some might think that’s quite babyish, but I think it was extremely acceptable in that situation. In fact, I think it helped me as I entered the test with a clear head and made me focus only on the test.
You only lose when you stop trying your best and giving it your all. No matter the situation, no matter how deep the hole you’re stuck in, you can always climb back out.
